I am 50. As of today.
Teen and Hubby bought me all kinds of silly presents and bling, which was lovely. They also made me a little movie with them singing and playing and going on about how I’ve made them into better men.
(It’s a song by Thunder)
After I got over my initial delight at this touching gesture I realised that I’d never thought of it that way. I suppose I just hoped I was making them cleaner, and slightly more nervous men. Just goes to show.
I also started to think…where did all that time go? When I think back to the child and young woman I was I want to reach out across the years and tell her some things. It feels to me like she’s an alien being from another planet.
I want to tell her to worry less, laugh more and say ‘fuck off’ to a lot more people. I want to hug her and slap her around the head in equal measure.
She was skinny, too tall, shy, weird, full of doubt, and had no faith in herself.
That was then and this is now.
Not skinny. Rounded, large-ish, carrying too much weight etc etc. I just need to stop stuffing my face with crisps and get on with some exercise. Of course, at the moment my physio won’t let me but that’s another blog.
I have more grey hair than black and that is fine. My hair would very rarely ever change colour no matter how long I left the stinging stuff on my scalp. It wouldn’t curl either. So now I am old and I live in Malaysia and I have grey hair with a curl to it so who says dreams can’t come true one day…?
I am annoying and weird. I say strange things and make inappropriate jokes. I also find my own jokes funny. And I dress like a colour-blind toddler sometimes.
I am a writer. I’m pretty okay, not going to set the world alight but I do pretty well and am proud of the plays and books I’ve written.
I am antisocial. Grumpy. Arsey. Stand-offish. Rude. I don’t play well with others and don’t see why I can’t just tazer people in the face if I don’t like them and have done with it.
I am sore. Most days I’m in pain to some degree. I have arthritis, carpal tunnel syndrome, sciatica and am short-sighted. My warranty ran out years ago…
I like to paint and do craft stuff. Whether it’s a Lego kit or some kind of bead/wool/sticker combo I’ll give it a go. I usually get frustrated and moan about it non-stop while I’m doing it but I’m enjoying myself on the inside. Honest.
I can knit and sew but just the basics.
I’m a whizz at DIY.
I can’t cook and I don’t want to.
I like mint choc chip ice cream best of all.
I invented our family motto which is ‘No Cheese Left Behind’
Most days I could easily nap for about 2 hours.
I have spent the last 20 years forgetting why I came into rooms or went upstairs.
I’m not a fan of lettuce, or apricots, or talking on the phone.
I can nag as an Olympic sport.
I can’t sing very well and don’t like to sing in front of people.
I like watching movies and reading and messing about in the pool and walking on the beach and making people laugh and sleeping and thunderstorms and ironing.
I don’t like snow, sleet or generally cold weather, spiders or any size, or making polite conversation or any shopping trip that lasts more than 2 hours and starts at lunchtime, or sharing, or having a sore back.
I am me. The good, the bad and the ugly….
All in all I’m very lucky…here’s to the next 50 years (….!!….)